In a couple of hours 2013 draws to a close.
I could write an epistle if I were to detail all the cool things that happened to me this year, all the lessons I’ve learned, the times I’ve cried and the times I’ve laughed until I thought I would suffocate. But I won’t. Firstly, because I’m also posting a short story (which is what I REALLY want you to read) and secondly, because I think my year can be summed up in thirty six words:
“I dared. I stumbled. I fell. I hoped. I fought. I laughed. I cried. I lost. I accepted. I loved. I took. I gave. I dreamed. I danced. I burned. I rose. I stood. I flew.”
I sit in Starbucks (because when am I ever anywhere else really? 😀 ) and I tally up all the times I’ve won this year and all the times I’ve lost. I make mental ‘chicken scratches’ of all the times life kicked me hard to the ground but got back up and learned to dodge similar blows.
It is clear that even though there were days when I felt otherwise – I’ve won more than I’ve lost. I’ve spent more time on my feet than I did on the ground. And most importantly, a lot of the time I’ve spent on my feet I’ve spent them dancing. They say life is not about finding yourself but creating yourself. Well this year I did both. I found all the bits of me I loved and wanted to keep close and I found the bits of me that hung off my spirit like rotten pieces of meat and I started ridding myself of them. Then, I settled in myself who I wanted to be… what would make me happy and I’ve been crawling, clawing my way to it. I will continue doing that next year. Heck, I’ll continue doing this each day for the rest of my life.
I could write a list of resolutions. I could say that next year I plan to lose weight, write more, do better in school, fall more deeply in love … with myself, dance more, laugh more, be more open to possibilities, dream harder, fall harder, flying higher. But I won’t. You see, I’ve realized something. Fireworks might usher tomorrow in but it will just be another damn day… and, yes, I’ll get another chance to start afresh but not any more so than every day in this year and every other day in the year to come. Because with each new sunrise comes a chance to fight for your life to be exactly the life you’ll love to live.
So Happy New Year. Happy 2014. Happy Living.
And these are my wishes for you.
Love deeply for it is the First Magick. Laugh yourself hoarse and breathless. Lose often for it means you’re taking risks. Let go of anything that doesn’t make you happy or grow. Embrace the bad days and tears because a phoenix isn’t always born from the ashes but sometimes from the cleansing river poured forth from your soul. And remember, always, that you are worthy and you deserve to live the life that makes you happy.
So, do as I did. Take a couple minutes and think of that life… that life which would make you most alive, most happy and most fulfilled. Now, tomorrow and every day for the rest of your life do every damn thing needed to get it.