I’m a realist.
Many persons say that is code for: I’m a pessimist. And, you know what… maybe I am. I flirt with romanticism, though. When I say romanticism here I’m not talking about romanticism in a love, relationship sense but rather in ideology. A bit of me (small bit) believes in the romantic notions of things like: it will all work out, what is meant to be will and all that jazz. At times I wish that this bit of me was more than a tiny bit. If I trusted the timing of my life more I’d probably suffer from less anxiety, less frustration and less stress.
In the last couple days I’ve got to thinking about how sometimes life gives you just what you need, when you need it. I have my LLM graduation in just a few days. I’d decided that since I was going back to London for the ceremony anyway it was best for me to just take some of my vacation days at the same time. Many work issues later (which I can’t get into) made it impossible for me to actually access my days and a very frustrated, very weepy me called Virgin Atlantic last week to have my dates changed so that I’d return home the day after the graduation. It would cost me about $500 XCD (damn you GBP to XCD conversion) to change the ticket but I sucked it up and began to give the way-too-bubbly-for-my-current-mood customer service rep my credit card details when Virgin Atlantic’s systems crashed. I kid you not. The woman tried everything in her power to change my dates but nothing worked. So, after a while she advised me to call back the next day at a particular time to get it done. Pessimistic Rilzy had the first go at analysing the situation and she fumed. She thought, ‘So nothing insists on going right today huh?’ After the initial feelings of frustration and anxiety passed, Romantic Rilzy decided that this was a sign from the Universe. What were the odds that the system (which the Customer Service representative insisted worked just fine a minute ago) would crash after she inputted my details? I decided to work a bit harder at trying to resolve the issue. A couple days later I received confirmation that I didn’t need to change my dates after all! I’m down for three weeks of Starbucks-drinking, sushi-eating, novel-writing and waking up late (like 7:00 AM) and I love it!
Now that everything has settled down and I have some quiet moments to reflect (who am I kidding? I’m just trying to avoid sorting out packing) I realize that sometimes you just have to trust the message your Life is trying to give you. Trust the timing of your Life. Trust the ramblings of your heart. Is every conceivable sign pointing to finding another job? Then maybe you should do it. How about ditching the relationship that’s slowing poisoning you? Maybe you should find an antidote. We are never as alone in our decision making as we think we are. We have the total of our past experiences, knowledge, intuition and soul. Sometimes Life insists on sending us small but firm messages.
I can’t help but wonder how many things would’ve gone better if I’d listened to the cues Life tried to send me. I’m making a promise to myself that from now I will listen more carefully. There may be great things in store!